Day 16 – Half Month

A few hours ago I officially passed the half way mark to my first month off of porn. Won’t lie, feels good, I just wish the days would go by a little bit faster! Want to see things like 3 or 4 months behind me!

Today I finalised a gym membership, deciding that the benefits far outweigh the financial cost, especially since my financial situation is temporary until my company gets off the ground. Besides, I got a very nice Christmas special! I’d like to thank everyone here who pushed me toward doing some routine physical exercise, I’ll be getting things going with the Stronglifts 5×5 program three times a week and hopefully throw in some regular tennis/squash if I can convince my friends.

Still having issues staying away from my PC, which was a good reason to sign up at the gym. I know I spend most of my time on this thing, so I’m either going to force myself into using it more constructively or curb usage altogether such as with porn until I can balance it out. I’ve signed up at a distance-learning university in Computer Science, starting next year, so hopefully with studies needed to be done I’ll have good motivation to use my PC effectively.

I’ve been noticing a difference in my discipline since I’ve started. For one, and this is rare and most noticeable, I’ve been managing to wake up consistently at 8AM every day. I owe a huge amount of credit to the Android application Alarm Clock Extreme, which has a function whereby you have to do maths in order to silence the alarm. I also have the alarm gradually come into full volume over 10 minutes, and have disabled snooze. These things combined have worked wonders for me. I don’t have to wake up in a panic and jump across my room to turn it off, only to jump back into bed. It comes in so gradually it takes a while to be blended out of my dreams, and when I realise it’s going off it’s still not loud enough to panic. I put it on the other side of my room so I must get up, I then have to do three fairly simple math sums to turn it off, and by that stage I’m not interested in going back to sleep. 8AM might sound like heaven to most of you, but for me I often fell into habits of waking up after 11AM, and I was never ever consistent. I’m even doing it over weekends, and sometimes waking up before my alarm goes off. Over the coming weeks I’ll push it down to 7AM.

When it comes to simple things like deciding whether or not to brush my teeth when I’m exhausted at night, and forcing myself to, or making myself a proper breakfast instead of just throwing cereal into a bowl, I’m picking the harder option more often. These are small things, but up until now I’ve suffered from a complete lack of discipline, even it was for brushing my teeth, showering, shaving, eating regularly,  getting out of bed after waking up, etc. It feels like I need to get these seemingly insignificant things in order so I can start tackling the important things in life, all the while leaving porn behind.

Still no morning wood or surging horniness. Of all things I wish these would return to normal first, they make you feel so virile and alive. I know their absence makes me want to go back to porn, almost to subconsciously assert myself, but there’s no going back!

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