Monthly Archives: December 2011

Web Protection Bad for Porn Recovery?

Porn recovery, to me, has a lot more to do with ignoring urges and visual triggers that would normally take you back to porn, and learning how to internalise those urges and move past them. When you use a web filter, you outright block the possibility of accessing porn sites or sexual content (well, 90% of it anyway). This is good in the sense that you severely lessen the possibility of coming across a trigger and going back to porn, but I’m now thinking it’s harmful in that it doesn’t prepare you for facing triggers that you absolutely will come across at home or outside, and denies you many opportunities for growth. Continue reading

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Day 24 – Fantasies

Been having more and more fantasies these past three days. Especially when I’m trying to sleep, which has been a big trigger in the past and is definitely not helping things.

They seem to be quite evenly split between involving my girlfriend and generic pornstars, but the scenes are always pornographic in nature. It’s difficult trying to think of other things or force the fantasy out of my mind, as they’re leaving behind stronger and stronger feelings of desire and lust. The visuals might not be there  in my mind, but the feelings are. Continue reading

Day 16 – Half Month

A few hours ago I officially passed the half way mark to my first month off of porn. Won’t lie, feels good, I just wish the days would go by a little bit faster! Want to see things like 3 or 4 months behind me! Continue reading

Day 12 – On Repeat

It is now Day 12 and the war rages on. In the absence of porn, it seems that I’ve fallen into a constantly repeating routine. Nothing is really engaging me, like I feel detached from what is I’m doing because I’m just trying to pass the time, not actually enjoying any of it. I don’t feel noticeably better or worse than when I started this recovery, I just feel nothing, which I’ve posted about before. I feel adrift. Perhaps that’s worse.  Continue reading

Day 10

Today is Day 10 of my recovery, and so far I’m still going strong. I think it was very important to identify and acknowledge all my triggers that would make me want to view porn, and actively avoid them. Now when the urges hit they feel like an insect in a box that you’re observing within your mind instead of being overcome by desire, but it’s still early days. Continue reading

Day 5 – Attempt #3

I was going to wait until I had reached at least Day 7 before I posted again, but felt that I needed to discuss some changes. For one, the register of my voice seems to have dropped noticeably; I’ll be quite interested to see if it stays that way and if it’s related. I’ve also started to have dreams again wherein I’ve relapsed. Continue reading

Day 6 – Soft Relapse

I use K9 Web Protection, and last night in order to download Gary’s series on Your Brain on Porn I had to disable YouTube’s “Safe Mode” (which also means having to disable K9’s “Force Safe Search” feature). DO NOT DO THIS. Continue reading

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Day 4

Today is Day 4 of my recovery from PMO. So far so good, yesterday was the first time since I started that I had thoughts of viewing porn. Continue reading

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